Friday, December 22, 2017 is a day that I will never forget! It is the day that I stepped into ONEderland. You see, I haven’t seen the 100’s since I was in high school!! (A few years ago, I got down to 200 lbs. but I never saw 199 because I celebrated a bit too much with food lol!!) Seeing 198 on the scale was a huge shocker, because my body has been holding on to 201/202 lbs. for over a week. I have been used to losing 1-4 lbs. every week when I am eating the way I am supposed to, but it seemed no matter how good I ate, the scale did not want to budge for me and it was getting frustrating!!
On the morning of December 21st, I stepped on the scale and I was 202 lbs… I went up a pound and I was LIVID. Then I decided to suck it up and go workout with my trainer, telling myself as I was getting dressed that I have been making healthy decision and my body will release the weight in due time. Got into my car and it wouldn’t start…REALLY?!! At this point I was livid all over again because not only am I missing a workout, but my car is tripping on top of that! There were so many thoughts going on in my head. I was irritated because I should have been 199 lbs. by then, so to fix the problem, I wanted to do what any sane person would do in my position, I wanted a 4 for $4 meal deal from Wendy’s (I knooww not the best plan when you are trying to lose weight, but when I am stressed FOOD is the first thing I run to)! Luckily my sister and trainer were able to talk me off of the ledge lol and reassured me that the scale was going to move, but only if I didn’t give in to Wendy’s. Sooo instead of the 4 for $4 meal, I ate some tangerines but I was battling my thoughts that whole day like, “Just go get some Wendy’s, you won’t see 199 lbs. before January anyway”, “You should end the year eating what you want,” or things like, “You got to 200 lbs. before and never saw 199, the same thing will happen again.” I wanted to give in soooo bad, I wanted the food to bring me the same type of comfort that it brought me before I started this journey. But I prayed and found the strength to tell my thoughts NO!! This was my month of ‘Just Say No’ and it took everything out of me to keep saying no. If I don’t want my emotions controlling me any longer, I have to take control and stop letting them. I have to stop letting myself sabotage my own journey just because it gets a little hard. I think I finally took a step in the right direction in accomplishing that. So when I stepped on the scale and saw 198.8, I practically fell out because I was not expecting it!
I have a question. Why do we sabotage our own journeys? Why do we do things that we know we will regret and how do we stop ourselves from doing it?
As always thanks for reading!! And I can’t wait to hear your thoughts!!